Take On Me

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Grief

It has been three years since
you drew your last breath;

Yet I still cannot bring
myself to delete your
number in my phone—

as if deleting it could
erase you from my life
any more than keeping it
would bring you back.

Weight of Words

Words are beautiful but dangerous creatures, exceptionally malleable and deliciously potent. They can caress with the tenderness of a lover or slice with the acidity of a diseased tongue. I maintain a delicate balance between the two—never wanting to expose too much of myself, remaining cautious, exercising restraint. Beyond the veil of my sapphire eyes lie the intricate secrets of my soul wrapped in perfectly precise language, which pervades the crevices of my mind. At times, I am tempted to withhold my words merely to prevent the seepage of myself; for it is in my times of silence when I have the most to say.

Contradictions

I excel professionally yet fail personally;
I smile outwardly yet ache inwardly;
I project confidence yet am unsure;
I have a gift of words yet they are my weapon;
I want security yet am plagued by restlessness;
I crave true connections yet struggle with intimacy;
I am very sensitive yet can be equally harsh;
I am generous with items yet stingy with emotions;
I am a perfectionist yet am incredibly flawed;
I fear abandonment yet have deserted others;
I am a private person yet bare my soul to strangers;

And though I strive to improve daily,
at times I hate myself for the very
contradictions that define me.