Journal Entry

When you grow up in a family of multiple addicts with multiple addictions, you spend your entire life waiting for the call. Because you know it will come; it always comes. It is heart wrenching to watch someone you love self-destruct before your eyes. No matter how much you love them or support them or help them, you can’t change them. You can’t make the choice for them. And until they hit rock bottom, they will continue to take the bottle or the hit or the pills over their family, over their children, over themselves. And you constantly grapple with helping in fear that you are in fact enabling, when all you want is for them to heal their demons instead of succumb to them. So, you love them in the best ways that you can and pray they will find their way out of the abyss. Because each time the call comes, you die a little inside and hope it turns out to be a wake-up call instead.

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